Books with author Jay West

Dumb Ass CrIminals is a collection of 200+ interesting articles and snippets, mostly hilarious, collected from many sources about criminals who truly need to seriously consider giving up their crooked ways because they are simply terrible at it. Take for example the Florida man who crawled under a trailer in the middle of a foot chase from the police after stealing a car. The cops found him only because he was snoring as loud as a jet plane on takeoff.The bad guys, with their criminal minds and very often caught in the act by police and sometimes makes for funny stories. When I started the research for this book I knew I would find a few good stories but the truth of it is I am beginning to think there are very few crimes, committed by thieves and burglars that go correctly for the criminals. A good example of such mentality is the story of the bank robber attempting to extract money from the teller by threatening her with a large meat clever. Instead she starting laughing when his cell phone rang and he interrupted his own robbery to take the call.I will do my best to keep my distance from these people and I strongly suggest you do the same. Even though these are not crime stories in the “thriller” category or unsolved mysteries – you will still have a ton of giggles at their expense. Like the South Carolina man who was treating his girlfriend to a dinner at Applebee’s then tried to pay for the meal with an obviously bogus one trillion dollar bill. How did the staff at the restaurant know the bill was a fake? Well, it looked like a hundred dollar bill with ten too may zeros.Oh yeah, one more thing – lock your doors!DUMBEST CRIMINALS EVER - Criminals getting caught by the police are not news, but criminals getting caught in the act because of something stupid that they did definitely make for hilarious storytelling. The 51- year old Pennsylvania man robbed a bank then led cops on a high-speed chase ending when he rammed a police cruiser. And why did he do all this? He said he was only following the instructions of his talking cat.There are stories about how burglars made the wrong call of imprisoning a homeowner in a closet filled with firearms, or how a car thief went to the drive-through window where the real car owner works, the 48- year old man offering the cops the excuse his cat downloaded 1,000 child porn images on to his computer. DUMBEST CRIMINALS EVER has more than 200 funny stories about seriously incompetent criminals. The judge told the 21- year old North Carolina woman that charges of drunkenness, resisting arrest, larceny, possession of stolen goods would be dropped in exchange for her writing an essay on "How to Behave like a Lady."While most of the bad guys in the stories aim to steal or hurt someone else, many of them end up doing a bad job of committing a crime, putting their independence at stake. The criminal stories may not be exactly the kind that leaves you with bated breath, but DUMBEST CRIMINALS EVER will definitely give you a good laugh. The 64-year-old man in Australia carjacked a woman car at knifepoint but was apprehended by the police because it took the man quite a while to put his groceries in the car and then fold up his walker and try to stow it in the car.If you want to feel good about yourself or how boring your law-abiding life may be then this book is a great pick-me-up. Flip to any page and find yourself laughing out loud, clutching your stomach at how Dumb and Dumber criminals can botch a crime if only given a chance.The 40-year old Ohio man shoplifted hundreds of dollars of clothing by stuffing them inside his jacket and pants until he looked like the Pillsbury Dough Boy then filled out a store job application using his real name and address.

R.I.P FAMOUS DEATHS - Celebrities die, the famous and Infamous die the same as all of us. And sometimes they die in strange and unfortunate ways. The beloved Robin Williams slipping a belt around his neck to end his torment and everyone knows how General Custer died. John Denver loved his ‘Rocky Mountain High’ and did nothing more than run out of gasoline to end his life, poor Princess Diana survived the crash only to die a little while later. James Brady was there at President Reagan’s side and was also shot by John Hinkley Jr. but died of his wounds 33 yeas later.“Dying is easy; comedy is hard.” – Edmund Kean, 1787-1833These last words, allegedly said by the Shakespearean stage actor Kean on his deathbed, tell a lot about our perception of the meaning of life and death, as well as how we normally deal with it. Many may contend that it is the other way around: that comedy is easy and dying is hard. However, in the circles of well-known comedians, this saying is accepted as a truism. The comedian is all too familiar with the humiliation of a stand-up comedy act gone wrong, where he has failed to elicit the expected laughter from his audience. It is an indignity that he fears, and fears justly.This book puts life in perspective inasmuch as those reaching lofty heights and those having the adoration of millions die too. FAMOUS DEATHS – describes the unfortunate last few paragraphs in the book of life of many celebrities and well-known names. We never like to see our icons and heroes as mere mortals but when the Grim Reaper comes – any status no longer matters.

DEAD TO THE WORLD - Celebrities die, the famous and Infamous die the same as all of us. And sometimes they die in strange and unfortunate ways. The beloved Robin Williams slipping a belt around his neck to end his torment and everyone knows how General Custer died. John Denver loved his ‘Rocky Mountain High’ and did nothing more than run out of gasoline to end his life, poor Princess Diana survived the crash only to die a little while later. James Brady was there at President Reagan’s side and was also shot by John Hinkley Jr. but died of his wounds 33 yeas later.“Dying is easy; comedy is hard.” – Edmund Kean, 1787-1833These last words, allegedly said by the Shakespearean stage actor Kean on his deathbed, tell a lot about our perception of the meaning of life and death, as well as how we normally deal with it. Many may contend that it is the other way around: that comedy is easy and dying is hard. However, in the circles of well-known comedians, this saying is accepted as a truism. The comedian is all too familiar with the humiliation of a stand-up comedy act gone wrong, where he has failed to elicit the expected laughter from his audience. It is an indignity that he fears, and fears justly.This book puts life in perspective inasmuch as those reaching lofty heights and those having the adoration of millions die too. DEAD TO THE WORLD – describes the unfortunate last few paragraphs in the book of life of many celebrities and well-known names. We never like to see our icons and heroes as mere mortals but when the Grim Reaper comes – any status no longer matters.

“Do I have a large frog in my hair? Something’s crawling out of my scalp.” - Joaquin Phoenix –"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10 or something." - Dennis Rodman - ZIP YOUR LIP! - You have opened your mouth a few times and the most embarrassing string of words tumbled out and I have done the same. Immediately we wish we could hook a line on the nouns and adjectives and reel them back in for further editing. Lucky for us we’re not the famous, the celebrities, the noteworthy crowd that seem to have every belch, hiccup, gasp and word recorded for posterity. Long after their fame has faded and even long after their lives have ended their clumsy utterances will live on circulating from ear to ear and making people roll their eyes, titter, tee-hee, and shake their heads. “I feel my best when I am happy.” - Winona Ryder –“I don’t think there’s been anyone like me that’s lasted. And I’m going to keep on lasting.” - Paris Hilton -Some folk’s celebrity status goes a step or two or a mile too far with their quotable gaffs because they are not blunders and not errors but ridiculous all the same. Some or many more than some celebs are very interested in sharing their “intellectual” observations with the world. Unfortunately a ton of them are simply not up to the task while they want to be considered profound too many are about as deep a drop of water. “Surfing should be called “foam-choking” or “sea stabbing.” – Russell Brand –"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." – Britney Spears -Have you ever wondered why we rarely if ever see some movie stars on the late night television talk show circuit? The reason is their managers and agents are smart enough to know their clients are not nearly bright enough to carry on a conversation for more than a few seconds without succumbing to verbal diarrhea and fouling the air with more idiotic crap that they truly believe. And without scripts or Teleprompters they are at a loss for intelligent sentences. Yet we listen to them and buy the toothpaste they are selling on TV commercials. We rush to watch their movies and foolishly we take them seriously when they comb their hair, zip their pants and stand in front of a microphone to espouse all the wisdom they possess.“Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for you, I’ll let you finish, but Beyoncé has one of the best videos of all time. One of the best videos of all time!” (Interrupting Taylor Swift before a television audience of millions at an awards show) - Kanye West“There are, I think, three countries left in the world where I can go, and I'm not as well known as I am here. I'm a pretty big star, folks - I don't have to tell you. Superstar, I guess you could say." - Bruce Willis –I know you will enjoy ZIP YOUR LIP! - because I laughed all the while I was putting this book together. Almost all of these quotes are laugh worthy or cringe worthy and the rest are simply strange. "I've been fortunate - I haven't had too many auditions. I slept with the right people." - Pamela Anderson –"I'm so naive about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount, and I realized that I didn't understand, she had to explain: 'That's like three Mercedes.' Then I understood." - Brooke ShieldsJUST ZIP YOUR MOUTH! – People always have been enamored with celebrities. There is a persistent fascination and an almost ongoing love affair with whatever famous actors and actresses; poignant, profound and not-so-eloquent figureheads; quirky and irritating politicians; and almost all other famous persons out there say and do. It is as if the masses are mesmerized and hypnotized by every single thing that happens in their lives. And just as we are keenly interested in them, so they are also interested in blurting out to the world whatever is on their minds – their views on politics, love, the world, and most especially themselves.“I would not live forever, because we

Hello, Brainzzz!BRAIN BITS TRIVIA - Have you ever wondered how you would fare in a TV contest of Trivial Pursuit or Jeopardy? Or if not, how your memory and intelligence will fare as you go about the world and accumulate information in your daily affairs? If you want to know more about the world around you, to know facts and figures to help you better navigate and successfully get through the labyrinthine corridors of life, then this book is a sure-fire guide to finding out.Brain Bits Trivia contains hundreds of random and interesting facts and trivia gained from years’ worth of knowledge gained by the author from an extensive exposure to various written media such as reference books, history books, biographies, and the like. You can find everything here, from the minutest trivia of auxiliary importance to the most important and earth-jarring facts imaginable. It is jam-packed with intriguing details on anything and everything one can see, hear and experience on earth.But do not get the wrong idea that this is just another boring and tedious piece of a historical treatise. Far from it! On the contrary, it is presented in such an informal manner, as a sort of commentary that does not read like a high school textbook. Pour over just a few of the pages of this interesting book and you will quickly realize that despite the seriousness of many of the world facts presented in this volume, the author does not quite take things too seriously. The narrative is humorous, and in much of the material presented, there are plenty of witty comments that are sure to amuse and entertain even the grouchiest of Scrooges out there.Brain Bits Trivia is a welcome addition to the written accounts of our oh-so-interesting planet and its most quirky and illogical of inhabitants – human beings. Make sure that this is an integral part of your library; it will undoubtedly inform and entertain your friends and family for years to come. And watch out, for this is just the first volume. More is to come. In these pages, there are so much brain exercises in store for you. There are details here that will leave you in awe and wonder, as well as delighted over how colorful our life on earth really can be. And you'll be surprised at how smart and intelligent you really are. And even if you aren't, you can still be thoroughly entertained as you read while simultaneously catching up with your more nerdy friends in the brain trivia department.So sit back and enjoy, as this book opens up to you a world of trivia, more than enough for your brain to digest and delight in.

YOUR SMART KID – We all want our children to have more and to be more.Our brains, especially kid's brains, are like muscles and the more they are exercised, the more they grow. But also like a muscle we do not want their noggins to become fatigued. Keep it light and keep it interesting. I wrote this book for youngsters because I have a strong opinion that small facts are what may bind other information together. We never know the trigger to what someone finds actually interesting, and this is more so with children. Present small bits of information like a trail of crumbs and it’s possible a young inquisitive mind will follow to develop an interest for more and more knowledge.Did you know Barack Obama’s mother’s first name, her legal name that she was called until she went away to college, was “Stanley?” Many have heard that when first created ice cream was an expensive delicacy reserved for royalty and then the wealthy but did you know peanut butter experienced the same beginnings before becoming familiar and affordable? Bicycles have been around for a long time but before 1839 they had no pedals, chain, sprocket or brakes. The rider sat and pushed themselves along with their feet like a scooter. Did you know French was the official language in England for about 600 years?Here’s one of the questions from Your Smart Kid:QUESTION: Pandas eat bamboo, and they eat a lot of bamboo. In one day how much poop could a panda poop of a panda could poop - poop? Answer: About 50 pounds every day.Children like to learn, and they learn at their own individual pace. They may read a book like this and learn some things then read it a month later and get more. Then go back later and read it again in part or in whole.A mountain of knowledge is a built one small pebble at a time. Your Smart Kid has a combination of 1,000 small interesting facts and questions to entertain your child.For me, some of my happiest memories are remembering the times when my own kids asked me " Did you know ….? Then seeing the looks on their faces when they knew they possessed something unique then shared it.I hope your child learns many tidbits of knowledge with Your Smart Kid and shares some with you.

The Lonesome Pine is an inspirational story about a pine tree's dream of becoming what he was planted to be...a Christmas tree. In his eyes he is perfect; in the eyes of others, he is not. "Please pick me," he shouts with glee, "I'd love to be a Christmas tree." But folks just seem to pass him by. "No, I don't think so," he hears them cry. But what is wrong? he asked himself. I'm not different from anyone else. "Now I won't get dressed up in baubles and bows, or have bright shining lights from my head to my toes. I wanted to see the children with smiles, as they awoke to see their presents in piles." We are taken along on his unexpected journey, witnessing his hopes and dreams, fears and disappointments. Upon reaching his final destination, it turns out to be more than he could have ever dreamed. The Lonesome Pine is not only special in what he becomes, he is also unique in what he is...a 64-page,triangular-shaped, fully illustrated, hard-cover book. This is a book that will be treasured by your child, and the child within you, for years to come.

FACE 100 FACTS #5 and FACE 100 FACTS #6 are collections of interesting, unusual, whacky and random fun facts in acquired from years in my trivial pursuit of reading biographies, history and references books as well as searching the Internet and paying attention to the news and generally learning about all I can. The information and interesting things are presented in a semi-commentary humorous style, which is to say a wisecrack is injected here and there. I truly belie trivia is an important and overlooked area in our education. It’s brain training for filling in the small details of everything else. Alter all you’re smarter than you think.

Every day I wake up... I wake up feeling like I can't remember anything. Every day I wake up... I see the boy of my dreams. Every day I wake up... I feel like I have lost something very dear to me, and I just can't seem to find it. After the Terra Apocalypse, New Rome, the only remaining civilization split into civil war. Living in the North of New Rome, June Castor, the First Child of New Rome, must live as a role model for her generation since she is the President's daughter. But, deep inside, she finds herself a monster. So when June is one day sent to Camp One, the camp where all North of New Rome soldiers train, she meets a mysterious boy who makes things seem not always as they seem.Up until now, she always found herself loyal to the North until a devastating factor hits her, and she is scarred forever.